Terry's Turf Club Burger - Terry's Turf Club, Cincinnati, OH

WKRP. The Reds. Skyline Chili. What do all these thing say....Cincinnati. Recently our crew took a trip to visit some of our favorite people. Not long before we ventured down, Red Beard (as we will call him) sent me a text stating that he had had 'a religous experience' eating a burger. If that isn't a sign for me to try a burger then I have no idea what one is. Come with me on an adventure, my friends.We are going to a magical place called Terry's Turf Club.........

First you enjoy a drive along the beautiful Ohio River on your way. Enjoy the scenery as you go from upscale homes to Ghetto to Industrial sections (essentially every kind of neighborhood). Finally you stop on the street and see what is quite plausibly a house that looks like there is a party happening. You have arrived at Terry's. Luckily our host's were wise enough to take us early in the evening on a weekday, because there is already a line. While you wait you can hang out in the front on what appear to be a row of old theater seats and order a drink from the bar if you would like. After a reasonable wait you enter what is quite literally a house party! Wall to wall people crammed with what was probably a large living room. After sitting down one of the very nimble House Host's (waitress) arrives....

Margo (HERE IS YOUR SHOUT OUT!!!), our very lovely waitress, explains to us new comers what is going on: Good burgers, and beer. That is pretty much it on the menu. But these are not just a 'I'll have a cheeseburger' burgers. Anyway you want it, you can have it. I don't remember exactly what the 'special' toppings of the day were when I was there, but I know that one of them was a mushroom I had never heard of. For myself I chose I had a cheese called haloumi, grilled onions, banana peppers, and a man-size portion of beef. Order some fries, which indeed taste like my father-in-law makes at home, and order beers from around the world. After a very reasonable wait time (which is a major thumbs down from a lot of reviewers online. FYI to those people: If you go at dinner time when it is REALLY BUSY you are going to have to wait for your dinner. Get over it!) our food shows up on paper plates. Yes, paper plates. Which is awesome because the clean up is easy and the cheap ones they use can be recycled. Now is time for a delight. The bun reminded me of fresh french bread. Not crunchy, not stale, but not so soft that is disintegrates. The next 10 minutes are something of a blur. I remember having fun. Every bite was full of delicious not-too-salty, but oh-so-juicy beef. I will admit it was more toward medium than medium-rare, but juicy enough to make up for it. Past that it was like eating 5 different burgers. Every bite was an adventure. One bite had only haloumi in it. The next haloumi and banana peppers. The one after that banana peppers, haloumi, and onions. After that haloumi and onions. And so it went until it was gone. I can honestly say that I don't believe that I have had that much FUN eating a burger.
It was juicy. It was delicious. It was exciting. And it was fun. A must eat for anybody making a stop in Cin-City.

Terry's Turf Club Burger - 10/10 **********

***WELCOME TO THE TOP, MY FRIEND. ENJOY THE STAY, BUT DON'T GET TOO COMFORTABLE! I EAT A LOT OF BURGERS.***

Other perks of Terry's Turf Club: Cool and unique environment (definitely not for people with S.A.D. or claustrophobia), Great Fries, Lots of different beers, and a unique experience. (Don't go during peak eating times because the line can get HORRENDOUS!)

Cheeseburger - Five Guys, Arlington, VA

If you have ever lived in the D.C./Arlington areas you will know about Five Guys. This summer I visited my brother in McLean, VA and of course asked him where to get the best burger in the area. >He immediately introduced me to the semi-legendary status of Five Guys. Found in shopping malls, strip malls, and probably other types of malls Five Guys have been busting out fresh cow meat since 1986. In that time they have expanded from a sole mecca of charred heaven to over 300 locations in 25 states. To me that deserves a looking-into.

When it comes to their burgers Five Guys stand by several tenets which are a source of inspiration and pride. 1-The burgers and toppings are never frozen. There are no freezers in a Five Guys shop, only coolers. 2-In relation to #1, the burgers are always fresh and cooked to order. 3-They use only the tastiest peanut oil for their awesome fries. 4-Their fries are made only from Idaho (YAY IDAHO!) potatoes. In fact, the day we went to Five Guys there was a sign stating the fries were from Driggs, ID that day.

Having surveyed the rules, I would have to say that they live up to the standards of their claims. The cheeseburger at Five Guys was great! When you bite into a Five Guys burger don't expect to stay clean. The juiciness and the salty-savoriness of the meat hits you will full force. The burger, which is not wimp at about a 1 inch thickness, is cooked beautifully even though was not medium rare. The toppings were fresh, crisp, and juicy in their own right. To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't be able to tell if the burger was ever frozen because of the sweet fattiness of the meat, but the lettuce, tomatoes, and onions spoke loud and clear. The bun was nothing special, but thankfully didn't disintegrate in the river of luscious flavor. The one bone I have to pick is the cheese. Everything about Five Guys screams fresh backyard BBQ. Everything but the cheese, that is. The cheese was definitely of the American processed types. Don't get me wrong, the cheese was melted beautifully and incorporated into the burger as you ate it. However, the savory-saltiness of the meat and the 'cheese' got to be a bit more than I would like by the end. That being said, the cheeseburger at Five Guys is a wrecking ball of flavor and deliciousness. Five Guys....welcome to the Top Ten.

Five Guys Cheeseburger - ******** 8/10

Other perks of Five Guys: It was super fast and cheap, they are expanding rapidly, and the FRIES WERE GREAT! (peanut oil, fresh, just thick enough, and they were from Idaho).