Niman Ranch All Natural Burger - Wasatch Brew Pub, Park City, UT

High above sea level in the cradling arms of the wasatch mountains is Park City. Famous for being one of the greatest ski areas in the world and the home of the internationally renowned Sundance Film Festival. Park City is something of a microcosm of rustic-feeling worldly pleasure in a state largely ruled by the Latter-Day Saints. When Greg Schirf first came to Utah in 1986 from Milwaukee I can imagine his shock and awe to find there were no brewpubs in the state. So, he took it upon himself to create Utah's first brewpub, Wasatch Brewing Company. Wasatch Brewing Company started in Park City, and it's headquarters remain there to this day. When the wife and I were in the 'homeland' on a visit we ventured to Park City to partake of the glory known as the Acoustic All Stars and in particular to see one of my very, very best friends, Greg Downs, play in the festival. Needless to say, I wanted a burger and we found ourselves sitting in the Wasatch Brewing Company drinking Polygamy Porter and my wife checking out the 'hot' waiter.

When I tell you that I ate the Niman Ranch All Natural Burger, you know about as much as I do regarding food lineage/pedigree. The menu gives no information as to what is Niman Ranch, or why they call it All Natural. Overcooked and dry, the burger left a bit to be desired. Having had extensive experience with both corn-fed and natural (grass fed) beef, I have to say that natural burgers have the edge on taste. This burger, though, did not. It didn't really taste like anything besides cooked protein. It wasn't even very savory or salty, owing to it's 'natural' origins. The cheese was good. Real cheddar, but you can't overcome a blah burger with average cheese. The bun was also good, but again you cannot overcome the defect that was the burger. I don't really even have more to say about it. I hope that it was an off night at Wasatch, because the atmosphere was cool and the rest of our service was great. Better luck next time, Wasatch.

Niman Ranch All Natural Burger - 3/10 ***

Other perks of Wasatch Brewing Company: The Polygamy Porter was GREAT (Very complex flavor with a definite essence of earthy coffee-ness at the end. Super Good.), the John Daly was also GREAT (Sweet Tea Vodka and Lemonade. Arnold Palmer for the serious drinker! YEAH!). The appetizer, Coconut Shrimp was out of this world, the service was great, and the atmosphere was really cool.

Hair of the Dog - Detroit Beer Co., Detroit, MI

Shadowed by Comerica Park and Ford Field in the heart of the long famous (and now possibly defunct) Motown lies the Detroit Beer Co. Started in 2003, this establishment offers good times, good sports (sometimes. In the 'D' you never know.), tasty microbrews, and of course pub food. My brother-in-law was in town and I wanted to show him the heart of Detroit and I was hungry, as usual. So we made a stop at the Beer Co. and I was introduced to a burger dubbed Hair of the Dog.

First of all, the name is at once repulsing and intriguing. It actually makes me think that Uncle Ted (Ted Nugent to those of you not from Michigan) came up with the name. I can in no way figure out why it is named such, but it is a pretty sweet name. The line up on the Hair of the Dog is as such: 1/2 of burger, smoked bacon, and a PERFECTLY fried over-easy egg. Notice the PERFECTLY fried over-easy egg. Now when I say perfectly fried I mean the egg was just a little brown and crispy on the eggs, the white was totally cooked (no 'runnies'), and the yolk was completely liquid. A breakfast dream! But I believe that is where this burger loses some points. The burger was indeed good, but nothing great. Cooked a little past medium-rare, but nothing I couldn't stomach. The bacon was thick, crispy, and delicious. So here I am eating the burger and enjoying it quite a bit. I actually pretty neutral on the eggs on burgers. Normally they don't really add much except for some texture and extra protein. But the Hair of the Dog and it's perfectly fried egg was different. I took a bite of my then lunch and was instantly transported to a campfire breakfast?! Over-easy eggs with lots of yolk and delicious bacon. Huh? Confusing, I know. Everything was good, but the flavors of breakfast were just a bit too strong for the burger-fare I was enjoying up to that point. Don't get me wrong, I would eat the Hair of the Dog again. Maybe next time it will be brunch though.

Hair of the Dog - 6/10 ******

Other perks of the Detroit Beer Co.: Good microbrews (I had the Local 1529 IPA and was quite pleased), awesome criss-cut fries, and a cool location with a building in downtown Detroit very close to Comerica Park and Ford Field.

Terry's Turf Club Burger - Terry's Turf Club, Cincinnati, OH

WKRP. The Reds. Skyline Chili. What do all these thing say....Cincinnati. Recently our crew took a trip to visit some of our favorite people. Not long before we ventured down, Red Beard (as we will call him) sent me a text stating that he had had 'a religous experience' eating a burger. If that isn't a sign for me to try a burger then I have no idea what one is. Come with me on an adventure, my friends.We are going to a magical place called Terry's Turf Club.........

First you enjoy a drive along the beautiful Ohio River on your way. Enjoy the scenery as you go from upscale homes to Ghetto to Industrial sections (essentially every kind of neighborhood). Finally you stop on the street and see what is quite plausibly a house that looks like there is a party happening. You have arrived at Terry's. Luckily our host's were wise enough to take us early in the evening on a weekday, because there is already a line. While you wait you can hang out in the front on what appear to be a row of old theater seats and order a drink from the bar if you would like. After a reasonable wait you enter what is quite literally a house party! Wall to wall people crammed with what was probably a large living room. After sitting down one of the very nimble House Host's (waitress) arrives....

Margo (HERE IS YOUR SHOUT OUT!!!), our very lovely waitress, explains to us new comers what is going on: Good burgers, and beer. That is pretty much it on the menu. But these are not just a 'I'll have a cheeseburger' burgers. Anyway you want it, you can have it. I don't remember exactly what the 'special' toppings of the day were when I was there, but I know that one of them was a mushroom I had never heard of. For myself I chose I had a cheese called haloumi, grilled onions, banana peppers, and a man-size portion of beef. Order some fries, which indeed taste like my father-in-law makes at home, and order beers from around the world. After a very reasonable wait time (which is a major thumbs down from a lot of reviewers online. FYI to those people: If you go at dinner time when it is REALLY BUSY you are going to have to wait for your dinner. Get over it!) our food shows up on paper plates. Yes, paper plates. Which is awesome because the clean up is easy and the cheap ones they use can be recycled. Now is time for a delight. The bun reminded me of fresh french bread. Not crunchy, not stale, but not so soft that is disintegrates. The next 10 minutes are something of a blur. I remember having fun. Every bite was full of delicious not-too-salty, but oh-so-juicy beef. I will admit it was more toward medium than medium-rare, but juicy enough to make up for it. Past that it was like eating 5 different burgers. Every bite was an adventure. One bite had only haloumi in it. The next haloumi and banana peppers. The one after that banana peppers, haloumi, and onions. After that haloumi and onions. And so it went until it was gone. I can honestly say that I don't believe that I have had that much FUN eating a burger.
It was juicy. It was delicious. It was exciting. And it was fun. A must eat for anybody making a stop in Cin-City.

Terry's Turf Club Burger - 10/10 **********

***WELCOME TO THE TOP, MY FRIEND. ENJOY THE STAY, BUT DON'T GET TOO COMFORTABLE! I EAT A LOT OF BURGERS.***

Other perks of Terry's Turf Club: Cool and unique environment (definitely not for people with S.A.D. or claustrophobia), Great Fries, Lots of different beers, and a unique experience. (Don't go during peak eating times because the line can get HORRENDOUS!)

Big As A House Burger - Pizza House, East Lansing, MI

If you have spent any significant amount of time on the southeast side of MSU you know Pizza House. Nestled in Hannah Plaza adjacent to MSU, Pizza house has been a crowd favorite for over 23 years. Known mostly for it AMAZING pizza (duh!), including an awesome version of the Chicago-style deep dish, it also provides a hefty line burgers. Normally Pizza House is not my first thought for a juicy burger, but I figure that everybody deserves their fair shake. I mean they say "We’re committed to using the leanest meats, finest poultry, real Wisconsin cheeses, fresh baked breads and produce delivered daily to create your favorite meals from our expansive menu!" And I can personally say it is true in regards to their pizza. But now...the burger.

Atop their burger page in the menu the have a selection that couldn't be passed up. It is called the "Big As A House Burger"! While I certainly applaud Pizza House attempt at catering to all palates, maybe they should just stick to pizza. The first clue could have been in the description where they state "chargrilled medium-well, unless otherwise specified". Perhaps they meant "will be charred to medium-well or more regardless of your preference". I 'specified', but did not obtain medium-rare. Dry and lacking a lot of taste the burger seemed to go on forever. As it claimed, it was big. However, bigger in this case did not mean better. The bun was so-so and the toppings were to satisfaction. My choice of topping was cheddar, and thankfully cheddar is what I received. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Pizza House. However, my Daddy always said 'you don't get race horses out of shetlands' and I say you don't get great burgers at a pizza joint. (Maybe next time I will try their pizza burger.)

Big As A House Burger - **** 4/10

Other Perks of Pizza House: GREAT PIZZA! You can't go wrong here. I really like the vegetarian pizza, lots of cheap beer, nice atmosphere, and close to MSU

Papa Joe Burger - Peanut Barrel, East Lansing, MI

If you attended Michigan State University since 1983 you will know the Peanut Barrel. Conveniently located on Grand River in downtown East Lansing, The Peanut Barrel is a staple of grub and good times for everybody in Sparta. So sit down, enjoy the beautiful Michigan summer, and have yourself a big beer or the strong Long Island in town!

The Papa Joe Burger at the Peanut Barrel is one of "those". It is not the best burger, but it most certainly not the worst. The kind of burger that you could eat once a week and not get bored for long time! The bun is excellent. More of a home-style roll turned into a bun with just a bit of grease on it to satisfy. The burger is definitely something formed by hand: No manufactured, frozen, cookie cutter burger here. The burger is always cooked on the medium-well side of things, and just a bit dry. However add lettuce, tomato, and American cheese plus some mayo, mustard, and ketchup and you'll have a winner. The fries are definitely more of the home-style, too. Excellent and crispy. Not many things in life go down better than Peanut Barrel fries with mayo and finish it off with a brewskie. Combine the beautiful downtown East Lansing scenery in the summer, some lovely Canadian ale, and the very reasonable price of the Papa Joe burger for a great time. The kind of memory that will always remind you of being at MSU.

Papa Joe Burger - ******* 7/10


Other perks of the Peanut Barrel: THE BEST Long Island in town, daily lunch specials, outdoor seating, daily drink specials, and good times!

Bonnie Burger - Bonnie's Place, Lansing, MI

I have to admit something. I had to eat this burger twice because I just wasn't sure. Bonnie's Place, circa 1988, is an approximately 20 x 80 brick building on the corner of Saginaw and Cedar streets in Lansing. The building itself is very unassuming, which definitely matches the interior. The inside feels as small as the outside looks with MSU paraphernalia lining the walls and at least a thin veil of cigarette smoke. It has the feel and look of a place that regulars guard with unfettered loyality.

The burger. Oh, the burger. As stated earlier, I had to try this one twice to wrap my head around it and to make sure I was getting the real deal at Bonnie's. The Bonnie Burger is definitely made to satisfy a real man's hunger. As usual I asked for a medium-rare patty. Both times I received a very medium cooked burger. However, I was pleasantly surprised. I can not say that I have ever had a juicier, more tender burger that has obviously been cooked pretty hard. The meat was succulently savory and seemed to sort of melt in your mouth. This is only to be complimented by the slices of ham included on the Bonnie Burger. Top it with some lettuce and tomato (which could have been fresher) and then tie it all together with a thick helping of REAL cheddar cheese. This sort of concoction could go terribly wrong, but not in the hands of the staff at Bonnie's. They have balanced everything as if in a majestic buffet where you can taste everything, but it all comes together into a synergistic melt of savory. You will notice that I have not talked about the bun. This is where the Bonnie Burger takes a downward turn. When it comes out it gives not indication as to what is in store. The bun looks very normal and appropriate in size. However, about half way through the burger you will suddenly notice that you are eating a diabetic version of the burger -- VIOLA, NO BUN! The bun has completely disintegrated and you are left to fend for yourself with the meat. While I can not say that the bun is the most important component of a burger, it is a necessary part. All in all, the Bonnie Burger definitely impresses, but don't forget your napkin. As such it has earned itself a spot on the Top Ten. Welcome Bonnie!

Bonnie Burger - ********* 9/10

Other Perks of Bonnie's Place: Beer, a "unique" atmosphere, and a 1/2 all burgers on monday nights.

Champp's Cheeseburger - Champp's, East Lansing, MI

THE CHAMPP REIGNS SUPREME!!!

Before I ever thought of starting a burger blog I never imagined that a national chain would claim the top spot in a burger blog. Somehow it just seems inherently wrong. Nevertheless, my I manage to avert my bias and judge the burgers for what they are. And when you are at Champp's, you get what you are looking for.

Standing just outside the Eastwood Towncenter in East Lansing, MI, Champp's is a beacon of Americana. Beer, burgers, and sports. That pretty much sums up Champp's. Love or hate it, it is what it is.

Where do I start about Champp's Cheeseburger? Start with "USDA Choice Angus Beef" that boasts a wopping 60 grams of protein per patty. Cook that delicious slab a meat perfectly! Seared quickly to lock in the flavor, but leaving a warm red center so that you don't kill the taste. If there was nothing else, this burger would be creeping into the Top Ten. But they didn't stop there. Put that beautiful slab of meat on a sesame seed bun that is crispy enough to keep everything in and not disintegrate, but sweetly supple to handle the meats beauty. Lettuce, tomato, and REAL cheese. To reiterate - REAL cheese (your choice of cheddar, provolone, or pepper-jack). If you want bacon, you will get 'thick, peppered bacon from heaven'. Combine this with brew that is just a little bit slushy because it is so cold, an always friendly (and usually easy on the eyes) wait staff, and a cool atmosphere (including several big screens with your favorite sports). That is a recipe for Nirvana-like delight. The only downside of the Champp's Cheeseburger is that when you are done you won't have room for another!

Champp's Cheeseburger - ********** 10/10

Other perks of Champp's: Cheap drinks, instead of fries you can get those crisscross things (awesome!) or sweet steak fries, you can watch all the PPV events on their big screens, and the prices aren't bad!

Cheeseburger - Daddy O's Bar and Grill,Chicago, IL

Located along the illustrious magnificent mile in downtown Chicago, the Hyatt Regency Hotel is both a delight and a comfort away from home. The Hyatt is more than just a hotel...it is an experience. In fact, given enough money you could live quite well without ever leaving the complex. It includes gift shops, fitness centers, access to a subterranean mall, and of course alcohol and food. Just past the golden doored elevators of the west tower sits the cozy Daddy O's Bar and Grill (Irish) which, as any establishment claiming to be a bar, serves a hefty burger.

The Cheeseburger at Daddy O's was an interesting one. Even now as I write this blog entry I am a bit torn as to whether I really liked it, or whether it was just kind of weird. There were several very good things about the burger. It was thick and juicy, but not over the top greasy and just a slab of meat. I asked for a medium-rare, and I definitely got a perfect medium-rare, which unfortunately is all too rare (ha ha, get it?). The bun was great! Toasted and a little bit crispy on the outside, and beautifully white, supple, and absorbent on the inside. Yet the crispiness of the outside did not succumb juices and held strong!!! This burger included one of those "choose 2 of the following:..." statements, which as you know if you read this blog is not a good thing. I went safe and picked cheddar cheese and grilled onion. I was pleasantly surprised by thick cheddar and delectably grilled onions. Now comes the confusing part. It came with a side of mayo, which is always GREAT in my book. However, it turns out that this was not your ordinary mayo. In this mayo was a substance that I still can not define. All I got was the smell and a to a lesser extent flavor. I can only describe it as something that was fermenting. Now, this is not an automatic disqualifier. I love sauerkraut on my brats and I love the fermentation of the field. But this was neither beer nor kraut. Perhaps another kind of cabbage, or something altogether different as only the Irish could do. However, after much debate and thought, I still cannot place it in the category of either great or glop. Perhaps, I shall never know what that substance was, and perhaps I don't want to know. For now, though, I must blog on.

Daddy O's Cheeseburger - ****** 6/10

Other perks of Daddy O's: Awesome (and I do mean awesome) spinach artichoke dip appetizer, cool atmosphere, and you don't have to even leave the Hyatt to get it if you are staying there.

Smokehouse Burger - Smokey Bones, East Lansing, MI

Sitting in the corner of lovely Eastwood Towne Centre in East Lansing is a wonderful place called Smokey Bones. In writing this blog I found out that Smokey Bones is actually a chain restaurant, but from my end I couldn't tell (maybe I should get out more!). The very name gives you everything you need to know about the food at Smokey Bones. They smoke stuff that used to have, or still contains in some instances, bones. Ribs, pulled pork, and burger. All the good things in life, eh?

The delight at hand from Smokey Bones is dubbed the Smokehouse Burger. This hearty mound of meat comes with a host of tasty goodness. Start with a thick, yet supple, bun. Add on top a thick burger, perfectly cooked to medium-rare, that is juicy enough (but could be better). A subtle, yet oh so important, addition are red onions cooked and smothered in the Smokey Bones signature savory BBQ sauce. On top of all this cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickles, and more red onions. You may say to yourself "that is a lot of onions!", which ends up being true. When beginning this burger you can taste onions in addition to the ever subtle, but smokey, flavor of the BBQ sauce. It is truly heavenly.
But admittedly by the end of the burger the power of the red onions can not be denied. Even with the pitfall of the onion parade, the Smokehouse Burger is a site to behold. This is a burger I would recommend to anybody due to both it's heartiness (I was stuffed) as well as the balance of flavor (forgetting the onions).

Smokehouse Burger - ******** 8/10

Other Perks of Smokey Bones: Lots of TV's with your own listening station, lots of Happy Hours, AWESOME Pulled Pork and Ribs, cool atmosphere.

Crunchy Burger - Crunchy's, East Lansing, MI

Everybody who loves karoke and beer in East Lansing knows Crunchy's.  Just down the street from Michigan State University, this local favorite offers good times to many students.  As it turns out, though, they do a decent job with a hand crafted burger.  

The "Crunchy Burger" is a handcrafted sort of beast.  It  reminds me of a burger you would have at a backyard BBQ.   Large enough to stick out off the side of the bun (a definite positive).

Cooked to perfection (I ordered it Medium this day), it was both juicy and flavorful.  You can tell these burgers are either put together just before grilling, or they have some sort of freshness formula.  The burger comes with lettuce, onion, tomato, and cheese.  Downsides - the lettuce was a bit too big and the onion was a bit too strong.  The cheese was not 'real'.  Most of the time this is not necessarily a good thing.  However, on a Crunchy Burger it was perfect.  Not too fake tasting and melted just enough to not slide off.  All-in-all the Crunchy Burger served to satisfy. At the affordable price of $4.75, the Crunchy Burger rightfully lands itself a spot in the Top Ten.

Additional Perks of Crunchy's:  Karoke, Lots of Beer (at reasonable prices), a cool atmosphere, and awesome Cajun Fries that are great when you are drunk.

Crunchy's Burger -  *********  9/10